It turns out our hotel is host for the 18th Las Vegas Smokeout – an international gathering of hirsute bears who smoke cigars and dip snuff. There are signs posted everywhere warning hotel guests which parts of the hotel are off-limits unless you are a Smokeout attendee – about 2/3 of the hotel.
This morning I wanted to go for a swim. Pool 1 (closest to us) was closed, because it has been taken over by ducks.
Pool 2 had a sign saying it was for Smokeout attendees only, but it was empty except for two lesbians who were making out under a pool umbrella. I’m pretty sure they were not Smokeout attendees, but I left them alone.
Pool 3 also had a sign saying it was reserved for the Smokeout private party, and it certainly was. There were roughly 30 large hairy men, some in their underwear, some not, lounging around the pool and all smoking cigars. I decided I had to check this out, so I grabbed a chaise, laid out my towel, and stretched out.
Before long, I was approached by a man who introduced himself as big Al from London. His beard was almost as big as his belly, but not quite. He said he hadn’t seen me around at the Smokeout before, and I explained that I was an intruder. He said I was welcome to stay and offered me a cigar. I declined. His warmth immediately cooled. He said it would probably be all right for me to sit by the pool for a while, but it WAS a private party. He said it was his 18th time attending, and it was his favorite event of the year. This is where he gathers with his international bear cigar family, and they are not keen on outsiders.
I stayed for about fifteen minutes, breathing in the various clouds of smoke and taking in the sights. I decided the lesbians were more my style, so I went back to pool 2.